One of the greatest urban myths about marriage is that it “takes two” to make your marriage work. Don’t believe it for a second! That myth has destroyed far too many marriages. Don’t let it kill yours!
This logic applies to dancing, business deals, and other activities, but simply does not apply to marriage.
Marriage is different. Marriage is not a give and take relationship, and was never designed to work like other relationships.
When you understand marriage scientifically, you realize it only takes one determined spouse to make your marriage happy and healthy. This doesn’t mean that one person becomes an abuser or abusee. It means you understand the principles of marriage and can use them effectively.
All other relationships require constant cooperation, and an equal or fair level of effort from everyone involved. That’s what makes them work. They are based on what you have to give and what you get in return. But not marriage. Marriage is not a “give and take” relationship.
Even though it may appear like other relationships in some respects, marriage is different.
Marriage does not require both of you to be working at it equally. You just need do your own part, regardless of your mate’s efforts. Sometimes your part needs to be much greater than your partner’s. If that is the case, then do it. It’s just your turn. No time limits or expectations. Just do it.
Your relationship is like two people building a bridge from opposite sides of a river. If only one person builds the bridge, it still gets built. Only one of you needs to adhere to the principles of marriage in order to improve your relationship.
Have compassion for your spouse. Nobody is at their best all the time, nor at their worst all the time. Every person has ups and downs, and we cannot predict when someone is going to be spiritually, psychologically, or physically ill. We all get caught with our pants down sometimes. As a spouse, you have to accept this. You have to do your part to express unconditional love with whole-hearted effort! At least to the best of your ability.
When one is doing all they can to save their marriage, even if the other is just hanging in, waiting to see what happens, the effort made by one will make all the difference.
Even in relationships where one partner is “over it,” we have seen remarkable recoveries that turn into incredible marriages. You can do it, too!
Don’t give up! Do your part to the best of your ability, without expectations of your spouse, and we will show you how to improve your marriage and your life.